The Villager
by Cleveland Rock
Summary: A mysterious stranger moves into town, bringing with him nothing but a thirst for revenge and a smile. Those with a dark sense of humor are sure to love this shameful new thriller by the world-famous, award-winning author Cleveland Rock.


I was greeted by a stranger as I sat down on the morning train. I really didn't need anyone talking to me at the time. I was on that train to run away from my past. I needed to assume a new identity and start a new life. I wasn't ashamed of my dirty deeds, but they no longer suited me. I longed for a simpler, quieter life in the country.

"I take it you're a city boy looking to move to the hills," said the stranger. I nodded quietly. "Me too," he said. "I was an assistant to the mayor of a big city out west, but he told me a little village called New Leaf was looking for a mayor. Naturally, I took the job."

Now, I always try to keep on a happy, friendly face at all times. People trust a guy with a friendly face. Sometimes, a guy can get away with anything if he does it with a smile. But no matter how happy I pretended to be, I wasn't interested in listening to this man's yammering; not until he finally said something that caught my attention.

"I always thought a mayor was somebody who was supposed to be elected. Apparently, that's not how they do things in this village. They don't even know my name or what I look like. All they know is that the next person to step off this train is going to be the new mayor of New Leaf."

Perhaps it would be in everyone's best interest if I spared you some of the details, so to keep a long story short, I got off the train at New Leaf and was welcomed as their mayor.

I wish the story ended there, but someone had to show up after the celebration to make things difficult. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name's Tom Nook," he told me. "Every building in this little village was built by yours truly. Every homeowner and every business is in my debt. Everyone's lives depend on my ability to keep the economy going. If your administration does anything to hurt my business, this whole town will have to suffer for it. But if you decide to leave my business alone, let's just say you'll find it to be a very rewarding decision. Are we clear, Mr. Mayor?" I almost lost my friendly grin listening to him, but I gave him an affirmative nod. "Good," he said. "I'm sorry if I seemed a bit harsh. Just stay on my good side, and I'm sure we'll be great friends in no time. Ho ho!" Then he scurried off.

I don't think he recognized me. But I recognized him from my childhood.

My widowed mother would always come home and whine for hours about how she was overworked and underpaid. This happened every day, as she never had a day off from work. I wasn't interested in hearing her tell me the same sob story day after day, but from what I knew about her slave-driver of a boss, she deserved to complain.

Years later, on my 18th birthday, I was expecting her to come home from work in a bad mood, forgetting all about what day it was. But she never came home. Instead, she went to the hospital, where she was declared dead. The cause of death? Work-related stress.

It was my first day as a legally-recognized adult, and I had no family. I was lost. I had no idea what to do next. In the end, I decided to follow my heart and the violent rage inside of it.

Once again, I feel I should spare you the details, so to keep a long story short, my mother's boss passed away. And now I had finally met his son, who, not surprisingly, grew up to be a greedy fink just like his father. I knew what I had to do.

Tom Nook slept in his real estate office at night, while his kids slept in the nearby store they run together. I broke into the store and grabbed his kids. They were small, so they were easy to fit into my inventory. I took them home with me.

The next morning, Copper and Booker, the village's only police officers, were on the case. From the looks of it, it might have been the first crime that had ever been committed in this village. It might have even been the first time Copper and Booker had to do any actual police work. Naturally, they were unable to find the missing kids.

Last night, I decided to pay a visit to old Mr. Nook's office. I opened his door and locked it behind me.

Clearly not shaken up by the fact that his kids had gone missing, the heartless Nook greeted me with a smile. "Feel free to browse, but try not to carouse!"

I said nothing. With my usual smile on my face, I slowly closed in on him. He backed away from me, stuttering, "Mr. Mayor? Is there anything I can do for you?" I remained silent, and my childlike smile grew wider. Soon, he was backed into the corner.

He stammered, "If this is about my kids…" Before he finished his sentence, I pulled his kids out of my inventory. They had starved and suffocated in there for the past week, but were still alive. "You found them! Thank you, Mr. Mayor!"

Using my net, I trapped Mr. Nook in an insect jar and had him watch as I beheaded his children with my happy axe.

"Do you want money? I have plenty of money," he pleaded with me, still not shaken up by the fate of his family. "You can have all the Bells you want." I just stared at him with a big grin, as usual. "What do you want from me? Please, just tell me."

Using the blood splattered all over the room, I painted a clear message for him as he helplessly lied in his glass jar. "You came to the wrong village."

Suddenly, Copper and Booker showed up at the scene. "Freeze!" yelled Copper. "Swap it or drop it!" I held up my hands and continued smiling.

Copper got a closer look at the bloody scene. "Unbelievable. I should have known it was you behind this all along. I knew there was something untrustworthy about you from the minute you walked into town." Sweat began dripping down my face. Was I finally going to jail?

Booker took another look around the crime scene. "I can't believe you would stoop so low as to kill your own children."

"What?! I didn't do it!" yelled Tom Nook. "It was… It was him! The mayor! He did this!"

Copper laughed. "Don't you dare try to pin this on our beloved mayor, you extortionist rat! You killed your kids and used their blood to write this sickening message to the mayor."

"Yeah. And he caught you red-handed," said Booker as I wiped my blood-stained hands on the back of my red shirt.

"Looks like this case is closed, and we owe it all to you, Mayor," thanked Copper. "Thanks to you, we booked that crook Nook just when when things looked… bad."

And that's how I got where I am today. I'm the mayor of New Leaf, Tom Nook is on death row, and everybody loves me. What's more, I like living here. It's relaxing and peaceful. It turns out New Leaf was just the place I needed to turn over a new leaf and start a new life.

The next time a problem threatens your way of life, remember to attack it with a smile.


End file.
